When we interact with the world and others around us, we create an interconnected network of relations. Every act or choice necessarily influences others in the network, because we live in close connection to others. The maps we follow determine the course of our lives: where we go, who we become, what goals we achieve or fail to achieve. Like maps in the physical world, there are some relationship maps with fixed destinations; unlike maps between cities, we do not always know that we’re following them.

We inherit maps from our culture, from our family, from our social environment. Sometimes these maps assign us very rigid roles. If these roles do not correspond to our inner selves, they can soon become our prison, and prevent us from fulfilling and realizing our potentials. Then we feel disempowered and dissatisfied. We find ourselves trapped between what we want for ourselves and what society expects.

Recognizing and understanding the maps that are guiding us can bring about breakthrough experiences and show us ways to peacefully change the aspects of our lives where we feel dissatisfied, disempowered and out of place.

When we can see the map and observe ourselves on these paths, we can choose to rearrange our network of relationships, to remap them in a way that corresponds with our real inner selves. Remapping allows us to achieve harmony with our loved ones, to express and listen to our deeper needs and to reach a better life. It empowers us to break the cycle of misery, discontent, and resentment. It gives us a chance to flourish, to succeed, to bring about the lives we yearn to live.

Breaking free of our negative relationship maps will transform us into powerful agents in the great movement of change and awakening of personal powers occurring around the world.

The Maps of Patriarchy

The most pervasive maps that we have inherited from our culture are the maps of patriarchy. These maps have been in place and operating for millennia. They have permeated all aspects of our lives: our families, our workplaces, our government.

Patriarchal maps are hierarchical and rigid. The alpha male leads and the only way to become a leader is to replace the existing alpha. In patriarchal maps, we can only act within very limited roles, such as leader or follower. The follower often becomes powerless to shift the course of action. In situations where followers feels that they can lead better, they nonetheless are powerless to act and have no say unless they can take the leader’s place. Replacing the leader can be problematic because a real solution requires different dynamics, while in patriarchal maps each role is very rigid. The map forces the new leader into the same behavior as the one s/he replaced.

It is important to understand that patriarchal maps are very crucial to have and to use in some situations, such as on a ship or in war, where we do need a strongly defined alpha leader to direct our journeys. The roles in these maps are effective because of their very rigidity. Yet in our families and in many of our organizations, the patriarchal maps restrict creativity and ask too many of us to suppress our true nature and desires for the benefit of the alpha.

Two relationship maps we have inherited from the patriarchy are the Map of Domination and the Shame/Blame Map.  In a Remapping Relationships workshop, you will have the opportunity to explore these maps in your own life and learn how they have become so deeply ingrained in our consciousness that we confuse them with human nature.

Maps of the Feminine

The Map of Domination and the Shame/Blame Map are the twisted, toxic side of the masculine. They take us into repeated destructive behaviors. And we cannot solve the problems created by the Maps of Patriarchy from within those maps. We have to step out of those maps and find new maps to guide us.

In October 2011, three women were awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for working on behalf of women’s rights. One of them was Leymah Gbowee, who organized women to put an end to the civil wars in Liberia. By 2003, the country had endured 14 years of violence. The Patriarchal Maps had no solutions to offer.

Instead, Leymah Gbowee and Comfort Freeman organized the Women in Peacebuilding Network and mobilized thousands of women to protest, fast, and pray. Gbowee even threatened to lead a sex strike. The women’s efforts were ultimately successful in bringing the two sides together and opening the country up to free elections.

The resurgence of the Feminine in the 21st century shows us an evolution from patriarchy to partnership: from an authoritarian power structure of control towards a circle of true equals. This enlightenment provides us with helpful tools to recreate the feminine map. It is a fluid, flexible, permeable, network of connections. Like a rhizome, it spreads, extending its shoots to develop new plants. Unlike the patriarchal pyramid map of “who’s on top”, we create a Feminine Map the core of which is partnership.

In general, feminine maps are similar to feminine energy, which is circular, like the movement of life. In contrast to the linear movement in the patriarchal maps, where the roles must be rigidly defined in order to move in a linear way, the circular map of the feminine maps allow us to experience different roles and different aspects of ourselves freely. We are not confined within one role, but have the opportunity to be abundantly creative, to express and bring forth our inner powers, to become and help others become empowered.

Both feminine and masculine maps are beneficial in certain situations and harmful in others. That is why it takes an understanding of both to allow them to work together and compliment each other within our lives and within society.

• How to love yourself every day, even when you’re alone or have no money
• How to transform the toxic relationships in your life and get very clear on whether you should stay or leave.
• How to navigate the feminine and masculine energies in you and others so you can be energized and not depleted by your daily life.
• How to develop relationships with family, co-workers and friends that are supportive, respectful, and evolutionary
• How to release intense emotions such as anger or grief in healthy ways and use them to feel alive and energized, instead of making yourself sick or depressed by pushing them down.
• How to connect with your dream team so you can thrive in all aspects of you

You may have done therapy, yoga, meditation, coaching and/or many self help methods. You may have tried changing partners, changing jobs, or changing countries in order to feel better. What you will discover here is a new comprehensive approach to deepen your connection to yourself and others and to give the world the gift of your full expression.

If you have questions about Remapping Relationships, please email Info@peacelights.org. If you have questions about the logistics of a specific event or to sign up for an upcoming workshop please click on the links above associated with the event you are interested in or contact the person listed.

Please note that in our upcoming workshops this March in Beirut, we can accommodate French speakers.